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Archive for the ‘Friday Funny’ Category

Friday Funny – Car Safety Features

How to get your kids to drive safely?

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install a rear-view mirror with a cop car in it.

Friday Funny – Who Walks into a Bar?

FRIDAY

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar.

Bartender says: “Hey pal, get out of here. We don’t serve your kind!”

The jumper cables plead: “Look, I’m here and I’m thirsty. I’ve got money, and I want a drink. Please let me stay.”

Bartender says: “Ok, you can stay, but don’t try to start anything!”

Friday Funny – It’s a Hot One…

Its so hot…

-you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

-you leave a layer of skin on the car seat.

-My Reeses’s wrapper now reads, “Melts on your car seat, not in your hand.”

-you need an oven mitt to handle your seat belt.

-I used my dash to heat a bag of microwave popcorn.

 

 

Friday Funny – Very Muddy…

A motorist, after being bogged down on a muddy road, paid a passing farmer twenty bucks to pull him out with his tractor. Afterward, he said to the farmer, “At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day.”

“Can’t,” replied the farmer. “At night I haul water for the hole.”

Friday Funny

Jill’s car was old and unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.

“What happened this time?” he asked.

“My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?”

“Yeah, all right, where are you?” John asked.

“I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded.

“Okay, and where’s the car?” John asked.

Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”

 

Courtesy of http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com.

Friday Funny

Me: *on the phone with my mechanic* “Do you do body work?”

Mechanic: “I’m afraid not.”

Me: “Could you recommend someone?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mechanic: “Okay.” *long pause*

Me: “So, do you know anyone?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mechanic: “They’re out on Highway 41.”

Me: “Who?”

Mechanic: “Recommended?”

(We go back and forth until he finally spells it for me: Wreck-a-mended.)

  • courtesy of notalwaysright.com

Friday Funny

FRIDAY FUNNYYesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn’t believe it! They’re dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him, “Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!”

– Joe Dobrowolski

Friday Funny-When I Was Your Age

ThePriceOfGas

Friday Funny – Car Rides: Dog vs. Cat

car-humor-automotive-MARS Mobile Auto-jokes

Friday Funny – How Much Do You Love Your Car?

HowMuchDoYouLoveYourCar

Friday Funny – Cat Lady Car Window

CatLadyCarWindow

 

Friday Funny-I’ll Drive One Day

I'm sure some of the parents out there can relate to this one...

I’m sure some of the parents out there can relate to this one…

Friday Funny-Microsoft Cars

Top 16 Things Bill Gates would change about the Automotive Industry
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry  with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer  industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon”.
In response to Bill Gate’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If  GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the  following characteristics:

1.  For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.  For some reason you would simply accept this.

2.  Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.

4.  Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5.  Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6.  The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7.  The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.

11. New seats would require everyone to have the same butt size.

12. We’d all have to switch to Microsoft Gas.

13. The U.S. government would get subsidies from an automaker – a first.

14. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.

15. You could have only one person in the car at a time, unless you bought Car 95 or CarNT – but then you would have to buy more seats.

16. People would get excited about the new features of Microsoft cars, forgetting that the same features had been available from other carmakers for years.

Friday Funny “Check Engine Light”

SimpsonCheckEngineLightFunnyMARSAuto

Friday Funny – Green means Go

I was driving with my friend. We come to a red light and he speeds up
and whips right through it. I start freaking out “Hey man, your going to
get us killed!” He replies “Relax, my brother drives like this.”

We come to another red light and he blazes right through. “You’re going to
get arrested or get us killed!” “Relax this is how my brother drives.”

We come to a green light he stops dead looking both ways. “Dude, it’s
green you can go.” “Nah man, my brother might be coming the other way.”StopnGoLight MARS AUTO

Friday Funny

Sometimes it's better to leave it to the professionals.

Friday Funny

Friday Funny

FRIDAY FUNNY

Child repairing his plastic vehicle

Reminds me of Mike, when he was growing up in the 70’s. Although, that would have been his Big Wheel being repaired from the millions of wheelies and jumps.