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Posts Tagged ‘car jokes’

Friday Funny – Who Walks into a Bar?

FRIDAY

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar.

Bartender says: “Hey pal, get out of here. We don’t serve your kind!”

The jumper cables plead: “Look, I’m here and I’m thirsty. I’ve got money, and I want a drink. Please let me stay.”

Bartender says: “Ok, you can stay, but don’t try to start anything!”

Friday Funny – It’s a Hot One…

Its so hot…

-you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

-you leave a layer of skin on the car seat.

-My Reeses’s wrapper now reads, “Melts on your car seat, not in your hand.”

-you need an oven mitt to handle your seat belt.

-I used my dash to heat a bag of microwave popcorn.

 

 

Friday Funny – Very Muddy…

A motorist, after being bogged down on a muddy road, paid a passing farmer twenty bucks to pull him out with his tractor. Afterward, he said to the farmer, “At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day.”

“Can’t,” replied the farmer. “At night I haul water for the hole.”

Friday Funny

Jill’s car was old and unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.

“What happened this time?” he asked.

“My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?”

“Yeah, all right, where are you?” John asked.

“I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded.

“Okay, and where’s the car?” John asked.

Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”

 

Courtesy of http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com.

Friday Funny

FRIDAY FUNNYYesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn’t believe it! They’re dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here?”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him, “Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!”

– Joe Dobrowolski

Friday Funny-When I Was Your Age

ThePriceOfGas

Friday Funny – Green means Go

I was driving with my friend. We come to a red light and he speeds up
and whips right through it. I start freaking out “Hey man, your going to
get us killed!” He replies “Relax, my brother drives like this.”

We come to another red light and he blazes right through. “You’re going to
get arrested or get us killed!” “Relax this is how my brother drives.”

We come to a green light he stops dead looking both ways. “Dude, it’s
green you can go.” “Nah man, my brother might be coming the other way.”StopnGoLight MARS AUTO